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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Najis

According to Shi'a Islam, there are two kinds of najis: the essential najis which cannot be cleaned and the unessential najis which become najis while in contact with another najis.
I came across this funny sentence while browsing Wikipedia for information about Hudud.


Which type of najis is it, eh?


Is it an essential najis? It obviously cannot be cleaned. But it isn't essential...to anything...


But does it only become najis when in contact with another najis?
Or does it make najis out of nothing?
Maybe it is the najis penultimate...


DISCLAIMER:
THIS PICTURE WAS NOT PLACED HERE BY ME.
IT WAS THE ALIENS.

Monday, September 19, 2011

"So it is for people who cherish moderation, dignity and justice everywhere to stand firm, and stand proud, to dissipate the pull of terror and to deny those at the margins a foothold in the middle ground – ensuring that frustrations, wherever they are felt, are heeded and that voices, wherever they speak out, are heard."
-Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak-


Hypocritical words? or just the right ones at the wrong time?

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Puke-Fest

I actually wanted to post a few pictures of Vomit-On-The-Golden-Screen moments, but I think that the link below basically captured everything I wanted to post. Don't click on this if you don't have a barf bag on you.

The whole of yesterday was spent alternatively barfing, zombie-ing around, and sleeping. I think I got poisoned by my food.

It was kinda funny, looking back at it, especially the 'Pharmacist Episode'. It was like this:

My mother decides to get me something from the Watsons, The Curve, and we find the Pharmacist there. So I explained to him what I was going through and he asks me, "So, you suspect food poisoning?" I was stumped. I was thinking: "Look here, doc. Do I look like a doctor to you? I thought you were the medical man!!!" Of course I didn't say that out loud, but I just gave a garbled answer that could have sounded like "Mrphhh". Having said that, I didn't mean to sound like a nauseated cat. But I think the guy must've got my meaning.

So, he prescribes me some pills. And lo, and behold, the poor guy couldn't make it any easier on me. He says: "Uh...this can cause drowsiness...BECAUSE IT AFFECTS THE CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM."



Why does it have to sound like I'm about to get my frontal lobe shaved off? Hmmm...

Even the G.P.s don't tell you that: "Oh, sir, this pills affect your central nervous system..."

What was this guy thinking...???

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Just Popping In

Well, well, well.

I just realized that I haven't got online for a tenday now, and that I haven't much time online now as well. I've been told that truth hurts and I've said that many times too. Somehow or other, I'm imagining myself talking while sitting by an old log fire in a great old arm chair, smoking 'bacco wearing a red chequered shirt and suspenders, waiting for dawn to start chopping down great oaks.

Anyways, if I was a lumberjack, I'll be a Chinese lumberjack, who only get to cut down bamboo and practice kung fu in the evenings with no fire and no fireplace. That's because I've decided that the next instrument I'm gonna learn how to play is the gu zheng (古筝).

Come to think of it, I believe that Chinese song titles are extremely...invigorating. What I mean is, think of songs which all sound basically the same and then realize that they have totally different titles like, "Recounting Grievances In The Courtyard" and "Rain-lashed Banana Tree". I didn't even realize that there were banana trees in China.

One of these days, I'm gonna ask my teacher to teach me to play "Buddha Jumps Over The Wall" and watch her face go red. For those of you who don't know, "Buddha Jumps Over The Wall" is a Chinese culinary dish.

Good night, everybody.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Sibs From Heaven

I wonder whether the practice of calling your close friends brothers and sisters is something universal? At least it happens to me a lot.

I am, by nature, a person who is loyal and have my own clear-cut rules. I'll post more on my nature later on; I intend to attend to the subject at hand right now. As such, my allegiance carries with it a high value whether the people it lies with know or understand it.

Every time I call someone my brother or sister for the first time, I wonder whether or not it will actually last. I have had so many people who have called me their brother who, now, would not greet me in passing. How many more only call me their brother when it benefits them and only when?

This post is also as a tribute to all those people who actually reciprocate my brotherhood, or sisterhood, and whom I would trust with my life at any given moment and whom I would drop everything to assist them in the least of their problems.

The first:
Jireh Tee from my class, 4 Clancy.
I salute you. You are one of three to reciprocate and, although not the closest nor the best of people, I love you for your being there when you are needed. While others come only when they need something, you come when I am in need. For that, Jireh, I thank you. I shall continue to support you and back you up even if you were to continue to piss every other teacher off and get insulted every so often. I will come every single time you call.

The second:
Jared Lee from my English class, Set 1.
I pay my tributes to you. You are my guide at the best of times and my fencing partner at the worst. I remember the times we used to have arguing out the finest points in Bible Knowledge in that dark, dingy class next to the school hall. I will always place in my heart the lessons we both learned from each other in the course of our discourses. For all those, Jared, I thank you. Although you have not reciprocated in the usual way, you have been one of the guiding lights in my life this year. Let me know anytime you need anything and I shall try my best to help.

The third:
Sarah Tan from Prodigal, The Musical.
I hug you and bless you. You are my favourite and best sister and I love you for it. We will be sisters forever and I hope that we will keep all our promises to each other for the rest of our lives. I will forever remember your kindness and your love through all the difficult times in my life. For that, Sarah, I thank you. You are the second best thing that ever happened to me; the first is my knowing Christ. All my promises stand and I shall do everything possible to help you in your race as I know you will help me in mine.

To the three people: Once again I thank you and I pray that our relationships will only grow stronger.

To Vigknaraja,
Although we are not sworn brothers, as you abhor the idea, I know that we are the closest of friends. May we continue to have many more years of being nasty to those who are nasty, insulting those who insult others, including each other, laughing at those who laugh at others, and joking about those who joke about others. May we continue to carry sarcasm into our golden years and sit around with our grandchildren running around the room joking about our entire life. May we debate on and make fools out of others while being made fools by others as well.

There's so much to say, so little time to do it.

Basically, I wish that all my relationships with my many sworn brothers and sworn sisters will continue to thrive and will only increase from strength to strength.

Good night, people.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Phew...

She isn't angry at me no more. Apparently, she just fell asleep...

I promised to buy her loads and loads of kit kat. I should buy by bulk.

Me: Um...can I have a tonne?
Pak Cik: Eh, boy. Saya tak jual dadah di sini. Aku tau ni Bukit Bintang, tetapi saya bukan orang jahat, saya takkan menjejaskan kesihatan budak-budak yang datang punya. Nanti bagi polis tangkap, aku akan mati loh.
Me: =.=" Eh, Pak Cik. I'm pointing to the kit kat...
Pak Cik: Oh, katalah. Macam nak hisap dadah saja...kata pun satu ton...
Me: No, really. One tonne. Pak! Pak! Someone call the ambulance!!!

10 minutes later:
Me: Good job, how much did we get?
Accomplice: Less than a kilo...
Me: Crap. We've got to hit a lot more mamak stores around here.

3 days later:
Accomplice: Phew...finally. One tonne.
Me: Good. Now we go for collectible shops.
Accomplice: !?!?!?!?! Why?????
Me: I promised to get her a few Sylvanian Families plush toys.
Accomplice: X! Are we going to pay?
Me: XD No.
Accomplice: More theft???
Me: Chill, we only need to hit a SINGLE shop.

3 hours later:
Me: Oh! crap.
Accomplice: @.@
Me: I've got to get her a single piece of paper to make a card.
Accomplice: @.@ Shall I fetch the van?
Me: No, idiot. I'm not going to be caught dead charged in court for theft of a single piece of paper. A tonne of snacks, yes. A treasure trove of expensive, imported collectibles, definitely. A single piece of paper...I'll wait till hell freezes over.
The Devil: It's cold down here.
Me: Fine. Get the van.
Accomplice: @.@

Three Paths To Rebirth

Rebirth? Yeah, right. I'm not even Buddhist. I'm just a Christian with a lot of influence from other fields, faiths and professions.

Anyway, this post is just because I promised to explain about the three paths I could walk.

The first is to enter paradise and become the Devil. Read my earlier post to understand what I'm talking about. So, I fight my brother over a girl. This sounds so exciting!!! I've never fought anyone over a girl. I intend to try it sometime soon. XD XD Basically, this path is that I 'enter paradise' by getting the girl, but 'become the Devil' by being evil enough to actually go beyond the point of no return in terms of my relationship with my brother.

The second is to sit on the fence and stay human. That's the one I actually picked and am walking now. It means that I maintain all relationships and have patience.

The third and last path is to return to hell and become a saint. I can return to my state of being a man without any confidants, thereby 'returning to hell' and 'become a saint' by apparently not committing any sins against my brother.

As a postscript, I attribute the first and last of these choices to Jean Valjean from Les Miserables. Thanks. Jean, for all the life lessons I've learnt so long ago from you and your decisions.